39. Tammy Peterson Prays for Pope Francis and the Conclave: Faith, Family and Motherhood, and Finding Courage to answer God's call

Tammy Peterson shares her journey of faith, family, and finding strength through prayer during life's most challenging moments, offering wisdom on navigating marriage, motherhood, and personal transformation.

• Beautiful prayers for Pope Francis and the cardinals selecting the next pope<

• Reflections on attending the Alberta Prayer Breakfast and supporting policies that help vulnerable populations

• Insights on the Self-Authoring Program and how writing can organize memories and create vision for the future

• Personal testimony of facing a terminal diagnosis and finding healing through prayer and novena to Saint Josemaria Escriva

• The story of finding her husband unconscious and how asking God for courage and strength carried her through

• Thoughts on modern motherhood and the profound responsibility of choosing to have children<br>• Practical advice for maintaining romance in marriage through regular negotiation and date nights

• Importance of telling the truth even when difficult, and limiting social media for healthier family life

• Reflections on losing her father the same day her granddaughter was born, showing how grief and joy often intertwine

• Traditional values balanced with hope for Canada's future despite currently living in the United States

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Further sources: articles written by Sheila Nonato about Tammy Peterson's conversion

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Chapters

• 0:00 Prayers for the Pope and Cardinals
• 9:48 Attending the Alberta Prayer Breakfast
• 18:04 Tammy's Podcast and Self-Authoring Program
• 27:33 Book Tour and Voluntary Sacrifice
• 35:44 Facing Illness and Finding Strength
• 45:05 The Importance of Truth and Prayer
• 54:17 Views on Motherhood and Modern Culture

Transcript

Tammy Peterson: 0:00

I wrote a prayer, actually for the Pope. I could read it yes, please, okay. Heavenly Father, we come before you with hearts full of gratitude for the life and service of Pope Francis. We thank you for his commitment to humility, compassion and the message of love that he courageously spread across the world. May your eternal light shine upon him and may he find peace in your embrace, free from the burdens of earthly life. We ask that he be remembered for his compassion and his efforts to bring about unity among your people. Grant us the strength to carry forward the values he cherished, that we may continue to build your kingdom here on earth. Amen.

Tammy Peterson: 0:54

And then I also have a prayer for the cardinals selecting the next pope. So that's just because that's what we're doing now. Lord of wisdom and light, we implore your guidance upon the College of Cardinals as they gather to select the next leader of your church. Endow them with clarity of mind and purity of heart that they may be open to your divine will. Help them to discern wisely and to choose a shepherd who will uphold the teachings of Christ, inspire the faithful and stand as a beacon of hope and mercy to the world. Unite them in their deliberations, ensuring their decisions reflect your boundless love. May their choice honour the legacy of those who came before and lead your people with righteousness and compassion. Amen.

Sheila Nonato: 1:48

Happy Mother's Day, Sisters in Christ. Thank you for joining us for Part Two, where Tammy Peterson continues the conversation about faith, family and motherhood, and in this episode I begin the conversation with a question about her daughter, Mikhaela, expecting a baby soon, and congratulations in advance! And today is actually a historic day where the papal conclave is meeting and they will be selecting the next pope, and may we implore the Holy Spirit to guide the cardinals and that may God's Holy will be done in the selection of our next pope. Thank you and God bless and Happy, Blessed Mother's Day to you all.

Sheila Nonato: 2:29

Your daughter, is she almost due? Yes, she is, oh, wow.

Sheila Nonato: 2:34

Another month she's ready. Oh my, oh my.

Tammy Peterson: 2:38

As you know, she's ready.

Sheila Nonato: 2:40

That's beautiful. How many grandchildren That'll make. Six, six.

Tammy Peterson: 2:44

Wow.

Sheila Nonato: 2:45

And you are going to be there for that time?

Tammy Peterson: 2:47

I am going to be here at that time.

Sheila Nonato: 2:53

That is amazing. I had read you had moved to the States but you came back for the Alberta Prayer Breakfast.

Tammy Peterson: 3:01

I did,

Sheila Nonato: 3:01

Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Tammy Peterson: 3:05

Oh, it was good. I was supposed to go to Edmonton a few months before that on our book tour but my son and his wife were ready to have their baby and they called me home so I didn't go. And it was funny because I was going to reconnect with my cousins who I have not seen for a number of years, but I didn't go. But then I got invited to go to the prayer breakfast in Edmonton just last week and I went. My husband was supposed to come with me but the tour was rearranged and he ended up having to be on tour instead. So I went alone and I contacted my cousins and it was very nice to contact them again and they were happy to hear from me. And it was very nice to contact them again and they were happy to hear from me. One of them came for lunch and she brought her son, who is now grown and has done university and he's working as the AV specialist at the convention center where the prayer breakfast was being held. So he came for lunch the next morning. At six in the morning he came and gave me a coffee and just before we were settling down to pray for our first prayer, my cousins. I turned around and both my cousins were standing there and I was able to give them a hug and they went and sat down and Premier Danielle Smith got up to speak and I agreed with everything she had to say.

Tammy Peterson: 4:23

She was talking about all of the policies that they're putting in place. They've put in place laws against all of the gender-bending ideas, that any kind of medication or surgery is not allowed for minors, and I agree with that completely. Uh, she's also with the help of one of her ministers named dan williams. Dan Williams was heading this charge to get the homeless people uh, help, and so that's what they're doing in Alberta is they're not enabling their drug use by giving them what they call safe what do they call that? Safe injection sites. Anyway, they're not doing that. They've taken another turn, which is a much more compassionate turn, which is to actually help them to find sobriety again, and Dan Williams told me that he thought this was going to be very challenging and very difficult, but in fact, they're so grateful, they're so relieved to be able to think clearly again and to be someone who can be useful in society again that it's mostly filled with gratitude. So I hope that that policy spreads across Canada like a wildfire and brings help to these people who are suffering.

Sheila Nonato: 6:00

So being at the Prayer Breakfast and your podcast, is this part of your calling?

Tammy Peterson: 6:06

Yes, yes, it seems that way, and I have a really good producer. His name is Ian and he's a young fellow, I think he might be 22. So he started with me when he was 19 years old. Wow, and he does a good job. And he has just done Jordan's Future Authoring Program and this is a it's at selfauthoring. com this program, and it's a writing program.

Tammy Peterson: 6:32

There's three parts to it. You don't have to do all three parts, but the first one is the past authoring and it's an autobiography. So for people who have they keep having difficult memories come back to them, the past authoring would be a really good thing to do, because it will. You'll write it all down, all in six epochs of your life. You'll divide it up however you see fit, and then you'll find memories from those times and you'll write them down. And when you write them down, you help your brain to organize itself so that those memories don't come back to haunt you. And so that's the past authoring. And then the present authoring identifies your virtues and your faults. So you write down your virtues and your faults and then you know what they are you well. And then you know what they are and then you can take steps to try to bring your faults into better alignment with what's good.

Tammy Peterson: 7:34

And then the future authoring is a program about who you'd like to be if you were taking care of yourself in the best way possible, with love and attention, who that person would be and what you might be aiming at, and so it's a vision program. It's a vision writing so you think about people that you might admire, and so you think about who those people are, why you admire them, and you're given a few prompts like that. And then you write for 15 minutes without editing, just write, just dream and write of who you could be If you were loving yourself and you had these opportunities. You know it's not a crazy if you do this with kids too young. You know they end up wanting to be an Olympic athlete in something or you know just something that's not very tangible.

Tammy Peterson: 8:24

But if you're old enough say 18 or so for this program and and older, at any time, I think, when there's a transition in your life, if you're changing jobs or you've just got married or you just had a baby or something, you can do this exercise and it'll give you a vision for the future again. And then you write goals that are daily goals, okay, and it's a great program for people. So that's another thing that I think is really helpful. And Ian, my producer, started doing that and he just is so excited. He's so excited and he's got himself a vision and he's taking his own best interest in mind and he's focusing on that and and giving that the light of day, and so that's exciting. I think that's very exciting.

Sheila Nonato: 9:21

Awesome, awesome and, as you mentioned, very exciting, awesome, awesome. And, as you mentioned, this program by your husband. He's also written a new book and the book tour. You are on it and you've been opening. Can you tell us what? What do you share with the audience? What do?

Tammy Peterson: 9:36

I share. So, yeah, so it's over now. It ended on the 17th of April, so that was nine months of travel. It was a long, it's a long time five months before Christmas before the book came out, and then another four months afterwards. And, um, usually I would you know, I'd ask Jordan what he was going to talk about that day, and usually by dinnertime he will tell me what it is and he might be speaking about voluntary sacrifice or he might be talking about, sometimes, some psychological things.

Tammy Peterson: 10:21

He talked about psychopathology and what it is and how we can turn that around. How does this theme play out for me? And then I would think up something, say about voluntary sacrifice, think about what it is, first of all, and then think about the opposite of that, which would be selfishness, and anything that's thinking about myself before others would be the opposite of self-sacrifice. And then I would share with people the benefits that I've found by leading a life that was based on sacrifice, how it would all come back again. So you know, when just when a mother has a baby, that's our sacrifice. You know, a man goes to war, a man goes to battle, that's his sacrifice. A woman has a baby? That's our sacrifice it's our battle to undergo, and when we do that, what do we get in return? We get all this love back to us again, you know, like it's just love that you can never imagine. That's what you get back to yourself when you, when you make those sacrifices, and so it's. It's easy to talk. So I talk about I talk a little bit probably about the time when I was sick in 2019 and came back after the doctor's appointment, tell my son that I only had 10 months to live and looked at him, and when he looked at me, I saw this terrible grief in his eyes.

Tammy Peterson: 12:29

That was, I think, in comparison to how much I loved him, and I'd never seen that much love. I'd never really seen that much love directed back to me in a time of need where I really needed that, and it just was so obvious to me that it was time for me to humble myself to God and understand that it's not up to me what happens in my life. It's up to God. Only God knows when we're going to die, no matter what a doctor says, and that I could go forward from there in gratitude, in service to my family and in service to my son, and so that was a very profound experience of voluntary sacrifice and what it means I mean to have you have no idea. Well, when you have a baby, you just have no idea how profound that relationship is between a baby and a mother. It is life-giving. It's a life-giving relationship, yeah.

Sheila Nonato: 13:51

I just wanted to, since we just finished Lent and we're into the Easter season, go back to the cross. I hope that's okay. You mentioned you had 10 months to live. Queenie was there, taught you the ros rosary was there with you for five weeks and then Father Eric Nicolai had given you the Novena to Saint Josemaria Escriva. And on the fifth day and the day that you said to your husband, I'm going to be healed, you, the doctor said you're fine to go home, when they couldn't figure out what was wrong with you.

Sheila Nonato: 14:27

Do you consider that a miracle?

Tammy Peterson: 14:31

I consider that a miracle. I consider that unexplainable. So if it's unexplainable medically, you know, and it is kind of explainable, you know, they had put a lot of dye into my body to see if they could find the leak in my system and then they used glue to try to stop it up and they couldn't. Well, maybe they did stop it up with glue because they definitely tried hard to do that. But the question is, why did it happen on that day? That's the question, and I think that was I was given that opportunity, I think it was, so my husband could see that this was possible because he couldn't explain it

Sheila Nonato: 15:17

Have you had to use that Novena again since then?

Tammy Peterson: 15:19

no, no, not yet.

Sheila Nonato: 15:24

Okay, hopefully you don't need to, but with Saint Josem aria Escriva, from what I know, is a saint who was teaching people how to live holiness in in their daily lives, like mothers nursing their children, doing the dishes, you know all the things that, uh, the home life, mothers can sanctify their work or anybody even, uh, wherever you work, it's how do you, how do you sanctify the work that you're doing now, the calling that you have as in public life?

Tammy Peterson: 16:00

Well, I think about how unlikely it is and how grateful I am for it, and so that's something that I can start each day with. Really, how unlikely it is that I wake up in the morning. That's where I start. I think, oh, look at that, I'm alive, that's amazing. And then, going on this tour, I mean it's so unlikely that Jordan and that that either of us especially me, really that I get to go along and go out on stage, I mean that's so unlikely and so different from who I was. So you know, the trail that I'm on now doesn't resemble the trail that I was on before. It's a different mission. It's definitely a different mission, and as long as I can see that it's going in a way that seems like it's good for other people, that they're benefiting, we'll continue to do this.

Sheila Nonato: 17:05

Other people that they're benefiting will continue to do this. And as we were talking about again the cross, you've had to deal the cross of your daughter's illness for many years, and then your husband had also been ill. And I'm just very curious, since I did the interview with you last year and we weren't able to finish the story that you it was a sad time your husband, you had found him um, I don't know if it was, he was unconscious upstairs in your, in your house. I'm just very curious. What happened? Did the ambulance come?

Tammy Peterson: 17:34

Oh yeah, well, you know, it was very interesting because, uh, we had a very good friend. This is, uh, he was in our wedding party. It was. It was Jordan's first friend when he left high school and went off to university. He was in our wedding party, It was, It was Jordan's first friend when he left high school and went off to college. He was a young, he was an older, a few years older than him, so I think it was like having an older brother. They shared an apartment in Grand Prairie, Alberta, while they went to Grand Prairie College together and then they ended up going to Edmonton together and finishing their degrees. So this fellow was important to Jordan and they ended up moving back to Toronto because his wife was from Toronto and then we moved to Toronto. So later in our marriages we reconnected again, but we still, you know, we were kind of like more like family. We didn't see him very often but when we did, it was good and it was always. It always seemed like whenever we were in need or they were in need, we were around. So you know, kind of like family.

Tammy Peterson: 18:42

And when George was so sick and he had to walk all the time, this friend named Morgan he showed up and he showed up every day for 10 months and walked with him 10 miles a day every day, wow, all through the winter. Yeah, it was really something, and he came all the time. So this day he had shown up again and he was sitting in my kitchen and we were waiting for Jordan because he was. He knew that Morgan was there. I'd gone up, I think, and, and asked and got him to wake up and I heard him going to the bathroom and I was talking to Morgan and I was standing up and I just got this idea in my head, you know, like an intuition, or maybe well, an intuition anyway that it had been long enough, that he had been in the bathroom long enough and I never bothered him in his work. I never, ever, went in and opened the door to his office. None of us did, and the bathroom also is a very private place and we never bother each other. But I felt like there was some. I thought there's something. So I went upstairs and I probably knocked on the door, although I don't remember If I did knock on the door. He didn't answer, and so I went into the bathroom because the shower was on, and so I opened the shower door and he was laying in a curled up position on the floor and I saw he was bleeding and my intuition was to stop the bleeding. So I leaned over to him to stop the bleeding and he said don't touch me. And I thought you're alive, that's all. I thought You're alive, I can save you, you know. And so I yelled to my friend in the kitchen and I said call the ambulance, which he did. He called the ambulance and then they came in and they took him to the hospital.

Tammy Peterson: 20:43

And it was during COVID and I couldn't go in the hospital. So I stood outside and I called all the people that I had a spiritual relationship with to support me. And then the next day I was able to go in and see him. And before I went in to see him, I called one of my friends and she said what do you need from God right now before you go into the ICU? And I said I need courage and strength. And she said okay, keep that foremost in your mind as you walk into the room. And so I did, and when I got there he was in a bed and he was alive.

Tammy Peterson: 21:21

And I wasn't too traumatized by it, because I was asking God for courage and strength. And when you ask, you receive it. And so when I go on stage, I still ask for courage and strength to go out there, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it. People say, how do you do that? And I say I ask for courage and strength. Go out there, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it. People say, how do you do that? And I say I ask for courage and strength, that's how I do it. So it was the beginning. That really was the beginning of a new way of life that my illness and my husband's illness, you know it really did deepen both of our devotions to each other and to the Lord above, to our families, to our societies Like we're. Yeah, it's very different.

Sheila Nonato: 22:14

So it must not be easy to be living such a public life, these crosses that you both went through, as you said, it deepened your devotion to your families, to each other, to the Lord. Was this sort of? Was this what kept you going? Even you know, I can imagine touring, going on tour, going to different cities can be very difficult, especially if you're going, you know, one day after the other, what keeps you both going. What keeps you going?

Tammy Peterson: 22:44

Well, you know, we have a really good group of guys that travel with us. They really make it as easy as it could be for us and I don't, we couldn't do what we do without them. We would have to do much less, many way fewer things, not so many engagements and so they are very helpful Our tour manager, who takes us from theater to theater. We just show up there and everything is ready. So we have a lot of help, and that is definitely helping us to carry on. But, you know, there's the world is in a is in need of attention and, with the right intention, the world is definitely in need of the right of meditating on what is the right intention, and so really, I think that is what we're doing is we're traveling around and discussing what is the right intention and how can you go about developing that?

Tammy Peterson: 23:58

Yeah, taking on your responsibility, as Jordan says, but also, uh, telling the truth. We talk about telling the truth and how. Starting to tell the truth is a good practice, because it will come in handy one day when you don't want to tell the truth, but you've already been practicing long enough that you'll have the courage to say what is true, and there we have seen how important that was during the pandemic, because people were very likely not to say what they thought and then things got away on us. So we have to, and there will be more, so we have to practice. It's very important that we tell the truth and that we take on our responsibilities and not hide our light under a bushel, but to realize that the truth is the best answer, no matter what. It doesn't matter what you think is the best answer. The truth is the best answer, period think is the best answer.

Tammy Peterson: 25:04

The truth is the best answer, period, and so we

Sheila Nonato: 25:10

Our Holy Father has just recently died. The church, you know the future of the church sort of, I guess, hangs in the balance. And when I had asked you the first time why did you enter the Catholic Church, you said that you felt we were in a time of Noah and that we have to batten down the hatches. Do you still feel that way? And how do we prepare ourselves interiorly for whatever challenges come our way?

Tammy Peterson: 25:45

Well, I think daily prayer is very helpful. And what does prayer do for me? You know it helps me to put my worries to rest. If I'm obsessing about something, it puts that to rest. About something, it puts that to rest, so it stops me from veering off in some direction that's not helpful, and allows me to be more present, so that whatever comes up when I start my day I'm ready for and I can respond in a thoughtful manner rather than a reactive manner. And so prayer is something and I think you know it's there isn't anything grand that any of us have to do because, well, we don't know what those things would be. So that isn't what's called for. What's called for is what is right in front of our noses paying attention and seeing what bothers us. If there's something that we're always talking about with our friends because it bothers us, well, that's our responsibility, that's our calling. It's something to answer to and to see what's there and investigate and deepen our understanding of, because maybe there's something we can do about it to make it better.

Tammy Peterson: 27:12

Prayer and paying attention to what bothers us that's another one that's very, very helpful. You know, we get, we can, we can get confused by all the social media, all of the people who are telling you what you should think and what you should say, where you should be, all of these things and spend some time in quiet. And I think that's way more important than it used to be, because it's very hard to find quiet now if you don't impose it. It used to be normal to have your life was quiet, but now it's practically unheard of unless you make that choice to make it quiet. So I would definitely limit your time on the computer and on social media and don't give it to your children if they're under 18. Once they're 18, they're adults, they can make their own decisions and by then they will have experienced their childhood so they'll understand what it means to have had time together.

Tammy Peterson: 28:23

Um, I think that young women, probably from the time they're about 15, they should start thinking about the fact is they're going to be married and start thinking about who they want for their husband and how they're going to prepare themselves to be someone that a man would like to marry. And so you know, we've, we've been taught that we have to prepare for our career, that we have to find out who we are as individuals, but really there's the reason we can't define what a woman is is because the woman that was defined first was the Virgin Mary with Jesus. And so a woman is, has a baby. A woman has a baby. That's when you have grown responsibility, you know. When a man goes out and finds a job and he brings home his pay to his family, then he's also a man, and we've forgotten exactly what that is, because we don't have our eyes on the family anymore. But really it's your family. You know it. It has. No, when you're down and out, you don't think about how many days of work you missed. You think about who you'll miss, because you love them and they love you. So those are some of the things.

Tammy Peterson: 29:52

I wrote a prayer, actually for the Pope. I could read it

Sheila Nonato: 30:00

Yes, please.

Tammy Peterson: 30:01

Okay. Heavenly Father, we come before you with hearts full of gratitude for the life and service of Pope Francis. We thank you for his commitment to humility, compassion and the message of love that he courageously spread across the world. May your eternal light shine upon him and may he find peace in your embrace, free from the burdens of earthly life. We ask that he be remembered for his compassion and his efforts to bring about unity among your people. Grant us the strength to carry forward the values he cherished, that we may continue to build your kingdom here on earth. Amen.

Tammy Peterson: 30:47

And then I also have a prayer for the cardinals selecting the next pope. So that's just because that's what we're doing now. Lord of wisdom and light, we implore your guidance upon the College of Cardinals as they gather to select the next leader of your church. Endow them with clarity of mind and purity of heart. That they may be open to your divine will Help them to discern wisely and to choose a shepherd who will uphold the teachings of Christ, inspire the and stand as a beacon of hope and mercy to the world. Unite them in their deliberations, ensuring their decisions reflect your boundless love. May their choice honor the legacy of those who came before and lead your people with righteousness and compassion. Amen.

Sheila Nonato: 31:40

Amen. Those are very beautiful prayers. Were you surprised that the Pope died on Easter Monday

Tammy Peterson: 31:47

, isn't that something? I never really thought of it as a surprise, it just was what happened. But yeah, that's meaningful.

Sheila Nonato: 31:58

I guess he gave. He gave to the last drop, to the very end. I yeah, that's what. I heard that he was had a sermon the day before, so wow, yeah, and he had seen a vice president, jd Vance, and his family. Yeah, he gave everything.

Tammy Peterson: 32:14

It's a great witness.

Sheila Nonato: 32:15

Yeah, Isn't that something that to the end your life is still worth worth living, yeah he wanted to wanted to express that love of christ.

Sheila Nonato: 32:25

I think the doctors told him you have to wait a couple of months, but he, um, he felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to to be there. So, yeah, yeah, um, and I just before I forget your father had passed away last year the same day that your, your grandson, had been born, so it was sort of a bittersweet day for you, and now you're awaiting the birth of another grandchild, sort of the season of Lent and Easter, sort of the life and death, Resurrection. All of these themes, they're very practical as well, in that they're not just a theory. You know that Jesus came and he showed us what love is, and love is sacrifice, and I think that is one of the themes that your husband had also mentioned in his book. Oh yeah, he wrestled with God. As you had mentioned, motherhood it seems like it is an act of courage. Nowadays, because nobody wants to have children, you seem to be a burden.

Tammy Peterson: 33:29

We didn't have a choice before. Now we have. We have birth control. So it is up to us to make that choice, and that's a lot of responsibility. That was never part of our responsibility, because if we loved our husbands, we'd be and, God willing, we had a baby. That's just what happened. But now we have birth control, so it's up to us to decide and that is a very profound responsibility that women have now and I applaud all women who make that choice because it is not a given anymore. But there is nothing more profound than becoming a mother. There's nothing that will you can keep your head high about than being a mother.

Sheila Nonato: 34:35

Well, why? Why do young women seem to think it's very, very difficult? I just thinking last week there was an American singer I don't know if you heard about this, but Chappell Roan, I believe her name is and she was on a podcast interview and she said all her friends, they're all because they have young children. So she thought, from their experience, "motherhood is hell. So those are her exact words. But are we making motherhood too hard? Are we taking on too much? We want to do everything. The girl boss, mom, boss, whatever, I know do everything. You know the woman has to. You know, go to work and then come home and, you know, fix dinner. Are we making it too hard on ourselves that? You know, mother, now you know nobody wants to do that anymore.

Tammy Peterson: 35:25

Yeah, well, I think that you know, the one thing that a woman can do is she can think about what does she have to offer her husband, what does she have to offer her friends and and her, her babies, and what does she have to offer her husband? And you got to think really clearly about what it was, what it is that you can offer him that would be good for him, that would encourage him, that would bring him a sense of being worthwhile, and I think that we have forgotten how important it is to share in the responsibility of being a mother and a parent and a partner. So we take the easy way out by going to work every day and not not getting married, of thinking that, you know, in snow white let's talk about snow white for a minute, because I went to the new snow white it was a feminist. It was a feminist movie. Absolutely there was no prince in it it was a film, yeah, okay she went to the queen and it was her.

Tammy Peterson: 36:44

She brought herself back to the castle to have a confrontation with the queen. It wasn't the prince, now, there was a bandit, there was a bandit and he played kind of a little bit of a prince-like role. But that wasn't the only problem. The seven dwarfs they weren't going to have any dwarfs in the snow white. No, they weren't going to have any dwarfs. And then they decided to have dwarfs.

Tammy Peterson: 37:08

But there's a very famous dwarf who's a actor. I can't remember his name but everybody knows who he was because he was in game of Thrones, but I can't remember his name. Anyway, he complained that there would be dwarfs playing dwarfs. So they made them out of CGI and so they didn't employ any dwarfs, which sounds like you know, if you think about it, that's not exactly probably what he had in mind, but anyway. But these dwarfs in their role they were not like they were in the Grimm's fairy tales.

Tammy Peterson: 37:41

So in the Grimm's fairy tales the dwarves are, they're all the same, virtually. They're not individuals, they are. They are good men, broadly speaking. They go to work in the ground, they bring what is, they bring treasure from within the ground and they keep a very clean house In this movie. Their house was a mess and Snow White had to inspire them how to clean it, and so there was the first thing that women had to show these men. But actually what happened was in the Grimm's fairy tale is Snow White went from the hunter who was supposed to kill her, she went to the dwarves and to their house and served them, served the common man. That's what her job was to do.

Tammy Peterson: 38:40

Now, when the queen decided to kill her, the first thing she did was she put on a bodice on her that was too tight, so she was restricting her physicality and going to kill her, and the dwarves saved her from that. So serving the common man saved her from that. And then she also had a poison comb, which would be narcissism, like paying way too much attention to yourself and the dwarves saved her from that. But then she dressed up as an evil witch and she came and she gave her a poisoned apple. And the dwarves, they couldn't save her from that, so they put her in a glass case and they didn't leave her, they just stayed around her and the prince came through the forest and he came upon this absolutely beautiful princess that was in this glass case. She was so beautiful, it was her beauty. She was so beautiful that he took her with him. And when he did, he jostled the glass case and the apple came out of her throat and she woke up and he married her and they lived happily ever after.

Tammy Peterson: 39:50

Well, that's all. All that is to say is that men need to pursue beauty. That's what they do. They pursue beauty, they pursue adventure and they need a battle. And I read that in a book called Wild at Heart. Wild at Heart, it's quite a good book, and he wrote another book about women. I haven't read it yet. I bought it but I haven't read it. And let's see what's his name? Wild at Heart. I should know that.

Tammy Peterson: 40:20

But in the Snow White story there's a bandit, and his merry men are a diverse group of people no Asians. No Asians, though for some reason I don't know what that's all about, but couldn't have any Asians in that he goes back to the castle with Snow White, but he isn't instrumental in freeing her from the queen's clutches. Snow White does that on her own and then at the end they dance on tables and they're kind of dressed in white and there's some flowers, so it's reminiscent of marriage, but they don't mention marriage at all. Yeah, it's, it's brutal. The difference between the Grimm's fairy tale and the uh, new one, it's, it's. It's doing terribly. And there's a reason it's doing terribly because it doesn't give men the place in the story, a proper place for men in the story. It's a feminist idea, very, very bad

Sheila Nonato: 41:25

Since mother's day is coming up, would you have a message? What would you say to young women and to the mothers who who chose to stay at home and are wondering did I do the right thing? Yes, this is hard. This is hard, yeah right, it's hard.

Tammy Peterson: 41:41

There's definitely true, I'm not saying it's easy. This book, Wild at Heart, was written by John Eldridge, okay, just in case anybody wants to know. Okay, um, so let's see, go back to when I was first married and wondering what I was doing, because every young mother wonders what she's doing and because we've never done it before. But we find out that if we are in it for the right reasons, you know, if we are in it to love our children, to love our babies and to give ourselves in service to our families and to our husbands, if we're in it for the right reasons, then if we can communicate that to our husbands and then they can meditate on what they're doing there, if they're there to be in service to their wives and their children, then negotiation is a big deal in marriage. And how do you know when you've negotiated properly? You've negotiated with your husband until you feel a sense that you're on a balanced playing field at the end. So you have a feeling of play at the end. Then you know you've. You know if one of you is going away and saying, well, I guess, oh, that's not good enough, that's not good enough, that's not negotiation. You know at work, when you negotiate at work, that you have to negotiate so that the person you're talking to is satisfied and you're satisfied, then you know that you've negotiated a proper, balanced deal. It's the same thing at home with your husband and you have to be aware that every week it's going to take about 90 minutes to negotiate with your husband on the workings of the house and the family. And when you don't take that time, if you try to have some romantic time, those things you haven't discussed will come up first and then your husband will be like oh no, we're not going to have a date because all you want to do is talk about how the car needs to be fixed. But the thing is you have to take that 90 minutes every week to discuss those things or they will come up and but you know, if you can just listen, usually for about a half an hour, if you're keeping up with each other, maybe there's about a half an hour of talk between the two of you before you can settle into a romantic evening.

Tammy Peterson: 44:21

And it's really important that you maintain romance in your marriage. You know you have to remember who you married and why you married them. You have to remember that and keep that memory alive by having dates and you can talk to your wife about that. You can ask you know, is tonight a good night? No, I'm tired tonight. Well, how about tomorrow? Okay, I'll have a rest tomorrow and then that's a good night. And then honor that. So honor that. You can't say at the end of tomorrow night I didn't have time to rest. It's like, well, you had a choice, you had a choice, you make your choices. So just admit that. You made your choice. Have a rest, spend some time with your husband. That's what marriage is about. It's about spending time with your husband so that there is love and attention in your marriage. Right, so that's super important.

Tammy Peterson: 45:22

And the more you do that, say you can negotiate how many times a week you want to meet. Like the first time Jordan and I met, I think we had a nap. We were pretty tired because we had a little baby, so we just had a nap. But that's okay, that's good enough. As long as you're spending it together, as long as you're not opening the door or looking at your phone, so you're not letting anything interfere, then you're doing what you have to do and that's the thing is, you'll start to negotiate. If you take that time with one another, you'll start to negotiate and you'll start to bring up things that maybe bother you. You know, when you wash the dishes you don't clean out the sink. You know it bugs me. It bugs me.

Tammy Peterson: 46:07

I just had to tell you that it's like OK, now you've told him that and and hopefully he's listened, and then the next time you get together well, you know his socks are always Tucked together but thrown in the corner instead of put in the laundry bin.

Tammy Peterson: 46:24

But you've got to talk about these things and you've got to express what you need so that you can be grateful to be with one another. It's really there's a lot of negotiation that goes on to having a happy marriage and it never ends. It never ends. You'll be married for 40 years and you still have to negotiate. You still have to find out what you need and you have to say it, because he's not going to know it unless you say it. So you have to tell him what's on your mind. So you have to trust your husband to listen. But you can train him a little at a time and he can train you a little at a time about giving up control, so that you tell him what's on your mind. Once that is there, then you're there to be in service to one another and have some fun with it. You know, have some fun with it. You know, have some fun with it.

Sheila Nonato: 47:25

How many years have you been married?

Tammy Peterson: 47:27

36. 36

Sheila Nonato: 47:29

. So the courtship continues.

Tammy Peterson: 47:31

So the courtship continues.

Tammy Peterson: 47:33

You still do the date nights? We still do the date nights Dancing. We're still negotiating those date nights. Do you still dance? We still dance. Yeah, and actually you know, all those years, years, we've gotten to be pretty good dancers. Took a long time. Took a long time ballroom dancing, um, or, yes, it is ballroom dancing. You know, he knows how to twirl me now in different ways and and we experiment with it and it's lots of fun and is this at home or is this at the studio?

Sheila Nonato: 48:06

This is at home At home.

Tammy Peterson: 48:08

Yep, it's at home. Okay Okay, you know, and we didn't have any help when we had our babies, so we had dates in the living room at home, okay yeah.

Sheila Nonato: 48:18

Okay, and just one more thing before I forget. Um the um, when your father had died, there was a celebration of life. Was it in British Columbia?

Tammy Peterson: 48:27

Yes, it was, and my sister actually died in December this year.

Tammy Peterson: 48:32

So we're having another celebration this summer and Jordan's mother and father have died, so we're having another celebration for Jordan's father. Yeah, it's been a lot of loss. It's been a lot of loss, but it brings together a lot of family and so that's good. And also, I think it implores, it teaches us to pay more attention to each other, because we do have the time to be together now. So actually do it and pay attention and be grateful that you have the time together now, because it doesn't last.

Sheila Nonato: 49:11

Yeah and so in the summer for your father. How, how was the celebration of life at that time? Was your sister able to be there for that? Um, we brought her out of the hospital.

Tammy Peterson: 49:21

Yeah, yeah, she was able to be there for that, um, we brought her out of the hospital, yeah, yeah, she was able to be there, yeah, and everyone saw her. I saw her only weeks before she died, wow. And she lives all like on vancouver island, which is kind of tricky to get to, it's not, it's about as remote as northern alberta, you know. It's just so far removed. There's no, uh, there's no direct flight to vancouver, so you have to really go out of your way to go. And I'd only just seen her weeks before she died, and so did her children. She has two girls and they both saw her. My sister who took care of her. She's a palliative care nurse. She's very good at saying when we had months to see her and weeks to see her and days to see her, and so she was very or hours to see her. She's very good at being able to help us define those moments so that we could take advantage of the opportunities that were at hand.

Sheila Nonato: 50:23

How did these losses affect your faith? Did it affect it?

Tammy Peterson: 50:28

You know, when my dad died I was there with him. Thank the Lord. I was there and Michaela was about to have a baby. She still had a month to go with her pregnancy, so I wasn't concerned that it was imminent. But it turned out it was because the day he died we called her and she had had her baby. So he died in the morning and the baby was born in the afternoon.

Tammy Peterson: 50:54

But my husband's father was ailing and so he went back to Northern Alberta and I came to visit Michaela because she had a new baby. But when I got here the baby was premature and she was just staying in her bedroom. So I didn't see her at all and I was lonely. I was lonely and I was grieving and I was alone and I was going for walks every day and I was praying and I was trying to deal with my grief. But when it came to Thursday and I was going to meet with Father Turrone for my Catechism, I admitted to him I'd been resentful that week and he said did you take that to prayer? And I said I did.

Tammy Peterson: 51:37

But when I reflected I thought, I thought did I really? And it was the opportunity to share that with someone that made it really happen. So I shared it with Father Turrone a new impulse to share my father's story and my brother had sent the obituary, so I sent it everywhere for him. I sent it to all the people on Facebook that I knew would have known my Dad. I sent it everywhere and it was a very good feeling. It was a good evening and I was then able to celebrate my dad's life instead of be in mourning. So it really moved me along in my process of mourning and I think it was the practice of prayer and also my association. If I'd gone to church, same sort of thing would have happened, but I actually had the opportunity to speak with a priest and that really moved my grief along to the next level.

Sheila Nonato: 53:03

Have you spoken to Father Turrone or Queenie recently?

Tammy Peterson: 53:06

I've emailed with them. I thought I was going home in a few days, but it turns out we have to stay in the States for a while longer because we just moved here. We have to spend more time here than than we thought.

Sheila Nonato: 53:19

What would it take for you to come back?

Tammy Peterson: 53:23

Well to come back, and live there?

Sheila Nonato: 53:27

Yeah, would you consider running for office?

Tammy Peterson: 53:31

We're not coming back to live in Canada? No, I don't think so. My son is there, so we'll go back for short periods of time, definitely to see him yeah and and we have a summer place that we still own that we can go and visit, and he has a place nearby, so we'll share that time with him okay but other than that, we're not going to be coming back.

Sheila Nonato: 53:57

No, no, no well, canada is poorer for you not being here.

Tammy Peterson: 54:03

Well, Jordan is still doing his work for Canada. We haven't forgot the people that are there and how important it is to us, that country, and so we're hoping that you know that Canadians make the right choice and elect a leader who has, you know, good traditional values and also a vision for the future, realizing that we have our natural resources and that we can share them with the rest of the country as well as the world. And that's good, because this whole idea of climate change is such a bogus idea. It's not true, and anybody who thinks that climate change is something that we should focus on has a lot of work to do in finding out what's true because it's not true. So I think Canadians, if young men vote, I think that the Conservatives will win, because I think young men realize the necessity for common sense. So I've had hope for Canada the whole time.

Tammy Peterson: 55:24

I think that the Conserv atives are going to win and I I really, um, I believe in our young people. You know it's the older people who are thinking that Carney's a good idea and he's not. He's a. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing idea and he's not. He's a, He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. You know, he looks the part, but he's not. He's not going to bring uh abundance to our country, so it's the wrong choice well, I guess we'll.

Sheila Nonato: 55:54

We will find out on Monday, we will very soon. And lastly, so your story is really a story of hope, transformation, love. Have you felt the weight of so much attention being put on you since your conversion?

Tammy Peterson: 56:12

No, I don't feel it. I feel like I have an opportunity, hopefully, to share something that's meaningful and I'm grateful for it. So it's unlikely and I'm aware of that, but I'm willing to go along with it.

Sheila Nonato: 56:34

Was there anything else you wanted to add? No, I think that was really good.

Tammy Peterson: 56:39

It's nice to talk to you again. Thank you, yeah, it was great to see you.

Sheila Nonato: 56:43

Thank you very much. It's always a gift for me and for my family. Did you want to close with a prayer?

Tammy Peterson: 56:48

Sure, yeah, do you want me to pray? Yes, please, okay, okay, dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this opportunity to speak with Sheila again, and please bring grace upon her family and upon Canadians and support them to make a choice that will bring abundance to the country. May your will be done.

Sheila Nonato: 57:29

Amen, amen. Well, thank you so much, Mrs. Peterson. Tammy, I'm just used to doing that Nice to see your kids.

Tammy Peterson: 57:42

Thank you for bringing them on.

Sheila Nonato: 57:46

They ask me here and there, like, "ow's mrs peterson? Oh, that's, I'd say, " think she's doing well. I see things written about her and her husband and and then she was at the prayer breakfast and but then when I told them, oh they, they left canada. They're like, oh, they were sad, but uh, you're on to bigger and better things and, um, yeah, I really appreciate your time and thank you again, um, and it's so exciting for you to have another grandchild. Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that okay.

Sheila Nonato: 58:15

Well, all the best, God bless.

Tammy Peterson: 58:17

God bless. Thank you so much

Sheila Nonato: 58:19

Take care.

Tammy Peterson: 58:20

Bye-bye, bye-bye.

Sheila Nonato: 58:34

Thank you for

Co-Host: 58:34

listening to

Sheila Nonato: 58:35

the Veil and Armour podcast. I invite you to share this with another Catholic mom today. Please subscribe to our podcast and YouTube channel and please spread the word. Let's Be Brave, let's Be Bold and Be Blessed together.