14. Josh and Lisa Canning: An Adventure of Faith with our 10 children

Summary for Episode 14: Josh and Lisa Canning: An Adventure of Faith with our 10 children

What if you could navigate the complexities of marriage, family, and faith with wisdom and grace? Join us on the Veil and Armour podcast as we welcome Lisa and Josh Canning, Catholic parents of 10 children, who share their remarkable journey from a serendipitous meeting at a diocesan Catholic youth event to becoming pillars in their community. Their story is one of faith, love, and dedication, offering deep insights into supporting couples through mental health challenges and guiding their ten children toward Christ.

From campus ministry at York University to starring in the HGTV Canada television show "Marriage Under Construction," both Lisa and Josh's professional growth is as fascinating as it is inspiring. Hear about the story of their surprising Valentine's Day proposal during the Rosary, and the joys and trials of their 16-year marriage. Lisa opens up about her unexpected career in television and her role as a coach and business mentor, as "The Possibility Mom," balancing a large family and a career centred upon faith and family. The Cannings’ reflections on trust, gratitude, and nurturing faith within the family are both practical and heartfelt.

Discover the delicate balance of parenting within the Catholic faith, especially when dealing with mental illness in marriage. We delve into the importance of living in a state of grace and fostering genuine relationships with faith. The Cannings share their wisdom on creating a life of margin for what truly matters and offer advice on nurturing future leaders and saints through intentional family practices. Don't miss this enriching conversation that blends insights on faith, love, career, and family life.

Lisa and Josh also highlight the importance of creating margin and space for the important things in life, such as daily Mass and prayer. The Cannings share their approach to teaching their children about faith and the importance of modelling a joyful outlook and a resilient spirit in the face of challenges. They also discuss their ministry, "Persevere Together," on the Locals website which offers support and practical advice for couples navigating mental illness in their marriage and family.

Keywords

marriage, family life, TV show, career, communication, shared vision, values, well-being, faith, trust, resilience, family life, God's plan, margin, space, daily Mass, prayer, teaching children, joyful outlook, mental illness, Persevere Together

Chapter Markers

• 0:04.   Stories of Faith and Family
• 8:13    Journey From Campus to TV
• 12:21    Navigating Marriage and Family Balance
• 24:52    Living With Trust and Gratitude
• 33:06    Nurturing Faith in Family Life
• 43:40    Navigating Mental Illness in Marriage
• 57:38    Gratitude for Family and Blessings

Connect with Sheila:
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https://veilandarmour.com

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Chapters

• 0:04 Stories of Faith and Family
• 8:13 Journey From Campus to TV
• 12:21 Navigating Marriage and Family Balance
• 24:52 Living With Trust and Gratitude
• 33:06 Nurturing Faith in Family Life
• 43:40 Navigating Mental Illness in Marriage
• 57:38 Gratitude for Family and Blessings

Transcript

Sheila Nonato: 0:04

Hello and Welcome to the Veil and Armour podcast. This is your host, Sheila Nonato. I'm a stay-at-home mom and a freelance Catholic journalist, Seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the inspiration of Our Lady. I strive to tell stories that inspire, illuminate and enrich the lives of Catholic women, to help them in living out our vocation of raising the next generation of leaders and saints.

Co-Host: 0:27

Please join us every week on the Veil and Armour podcast, where stories come alive through a journalist's lens and mother's heart.

Sheila Nonato: 0:34

Welcome to Episode 14. We will be featuring the Canning family. Lisa and Josh are leading their 10 children to Christ and to the Catholic faith. They shared tips and a glimpse into their love story and how it all began. Please excuse my voice as I just returned from a trip to Washington, D. C. Buzzsprout, which hosts our podcast, put a call out for podcasters who were interested in attending the podcasting conference in Washington, D. C. ,starting on August 19. They were going to select some podcasters and pay for their ticket to the four-day conference. I starting on August 19. They were going to select some podcasters and pay for their ticket to the four-day conference. I applied and here we are. Thanks be to God, we were selected and my husband volunteered to come with me and generously drove the whole way and back. That's about 11 hours, give or take a few stops. I thank the generosity of our families for making this happen for us. The kids and our pet parakeets were taken care of. Thank you so much! And a generous family friend in the D. C. area hosted us for the week. Thank you, Mary and Chris, and God bless your lovely family! I'll try to have a podcast about the lessons learned there and how we can serve you better, our faithful listeners.

Sheila Nonato: 1:36

Now back to our remarkable family. This week, Lisa and Josh talk about their marriage, family life and their ministry with couples navigating mental health in marriage. Just to give a bit of background, josh worked in campus Catholic chaplaincy at the University of Toronto through the Newman Centre and York University, and Lisa has been on HGTV (Canada) on a show called Marriage Under Construction and also has worked with the Property Brothers. Let's hear their story. Welcome to Veil and Armour. Josh and Lisa, can we start off with a prayer, if you don't mind, of course. Okay, do you want to lead?

Joseph Nonatio: 2:12

Alright. Let's pray: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Let's just take a moment to remember that we are in the holy presence of God. Let's recall that He can see us, that He can hear us and He's watching us, as a father watches his children. Let's ask our Blessed Mother to guide this conversation there and make it so that it's greatly apostolic for those who hear it and especially also for us and for our families Together. Let's say Hail Mary. Hail Mary, Full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou, o woman, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Sheila Nonato: 2:47

Amen. Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, All right.

Joseph Nonatio: 2:51

Good .Holy Mary, Our Hope, Seat of Wisdom, Pray for us. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Lisa Canning: 2:56

Pray for us.

Joseph Nonatio: 2:58

I guess there's a bit of a delay there. Good,. good.

Sheila Nonato: 3:01

So today we'll be talking about marriage and family life and first of all, yeah, we'd like to know the story of how you first met.

Lisa Canning: 3:15

Would you like to go ahead and share? Yeah?

Josh Canning: 3:16

Yeah, so we met at an event modelled after World Youth Day, but a diocesan event, I believe it was called, what was it called? It was OCY, something or other, I can't remember.

Lisa Canning: 3:28

It was a diocesan youth event.

Josh Canning: 3:30

Yeah and yeah we. Basically I had been invited by a couple of friends who were my clubbing buddies but who also were involved in their youth group at Church. I was myself not involved in Church. I don't think I was attending mass at the time. So I was myself not involved in Church. I don't think I was attending Mass at the time. So I was basically a functionally lapsed Catholic. So I believed in God but had some hangups in my spiritual life.

Josh Canning: 3:55

But I went to this event because they sold it as a great place to go meet girls and I said, "kay, let's go ahead and do that, that sounds fun. Said okay, let's go ahead and do that, that sounds fun. At the event we, you know, had a fun sort of social experience. But there were different activities meant to start to get you thinking along certain lines about legacy and what's important in life. You know, yeah, what's the legacy we want to leave?

Josh Canning: 4:20

And I realized there were a lot of just sort of gaps in the way that I was living life and that it was essentially kind of like shallow and it's funny, but that kind of was jarred loose in this event. It got to a point where we were being led in a sung liturgy of the hours outdoors, with a little bit of praise and worship, and there was a moment when it's funny, but a certain person who was leading us in in music caught my eye and it was at this sort of perfect moment where I was starting to just question things in my life and I saw a person who seemed to be exuding pure, unadulterated joy and it looked like as though a relationship with God was on display, the way this person was just praising God and with her hand in the air, just loving God, and I just became aware of something that was really missing in my life. It's funny, we were interested in going there to meet girls, but I realized that I deeply desired to re-engage with God and, anyways, there was a moment where I kind of just acknowledged that longing, that craving, and, you know, in an instant I felt the Lord respond to that in a way that completely turned my life like on its axis. I really believed truly that God loved me personally in that moment, despite all of my sinfulness and all of my sort of wretchedness, moment, despite all of my sinfulness and all of my sort of wretchedness, and that God really desired that relationship. You know, in a way, you could say even more than I did.

Josh Canning: 5:52

It's profound for me to think about, but really the Lord wanted to restore that relationship that had been lost, and so that was the moment that completely yeah, that was the moment where I came back to my faith, came back to the church and I haven't really spoken a lot about Lisa in explaining this where we met, but Lisa was the person that was leading us in song at that time, so I was looking at her, seeing this relationship with God being, you know, in a way just transformed by her own love for God, and not knowing at that moment that that was my future wife. So that was where we met. It was a profound kind of meeting and, yeah, that was almost 20 years ago now.

Lisa Canning: 6:33

We're so old, oh my gosh, 20 years ago. How is that possible, anyway?

Sheila Nonato: 6:40

No, you found the fountain of youth. That's an amazing story. No, you found the fountain of youth. That's an amazing story, but yeah, amazing, amazing and so from there.

Sheila Nonato: 6:56

How did you get to the Newman Centre and campus ministry?

Josh Canning: 6:58

Well, let's see. So I think there was about a year in between. So I went back from that event, started, as I said, kind of re-engaging in my faith At the time. It was through actually like a lot of volunteering, so you know, inner city stuff, soup kitchens, that kind of thing, just really really desiring sort of coming back to that question of legacy, really desiring not to kind of fall back into selfishness, you know, desiring to sort of try to live as loving a life as possible. So that you know, I received at the time a gift of just a love of prayer, just conversation with God, and I tried to really re-engage with the sacraments. So a lot of Confession and, and you know, of confession and going for Holy Eucharist, and basically Lisa and I became friends just through meeting the same circles.

Josh Canning: 7:51

That time when I was volunteering, I met other young adults who happened to know Lisa and we became friends.

Josh Canning: 7:57

And then I ree-ngaged with my own campus ministry when I went back to college I was midway through undergrad at the time and you could say spiritual kind of investment or surgery was kind of done on me over the course of many months as I kind of re-explored my relationship with God and truly committed. And then, yeah, then the next year I moved to the Newman Center. We applied to be, we both applied, I applied, I think first Lisa came in at the last minute. I guess she just really needed to be as close to me as possible, I don't know. But no, just it was kind of following the same thing, wanting to live a year of service amongst other Catholic young adults. And then, after one year at the Newman Centre, I graduated and then took a role working in campus ministry at York University where I had been an undergrad, a role working in campus ministry at York University where I had been an undergrad, and then went on to work for four years there and then three years at the.

Josh Canning: 8:51

Newman Centre, directing campus ministry there, and yeah, that's kind of the short story.

Sheila Nonato: 8:54

Amazing, and can you tell us about the proposal?

Josh Canning: 9:01

Yeah, it's so we. We were actually living in a, in a Catholic household at the time, um, so we were at the Newman Centre when I proposed um, we, uh, it was Valentine's Day it was during the Rosary yeah, and I.

Lisa Canning: 9:16

I'll never forget, because I was, I was mad at someone, so it was, if I'm not mistaken, it was a Tuesday, so it was the Sorrowful Mysteries, and I was really mad at somebody. And so I was like, "oh, like I will like carry the cross of this, like being mad at this person, okay so, and I remember I was like stewing in the mad at the person. And so then I like opened my eyes and there was a ring like right in front of me and I remember I was such a harsh transition between, like I'm so mad at this person I had to like pivot real quick to, oh my gosh, there's a ring in front of me. So, yeah, I was right right after the rosary. It was very, it was lovely.

Lisa Canning: 9:55

It was lovely Valentine's day.

Sheila Nonato: 9:59

Beautiful and so how many years of marriage now.

Josh Canning: 10:05

We are. We celebrated our 16th anniversary, I think the last one, if I'm remembering correctly. I have no idea.

Lisa Canning: 10:12

People ask me how old I am and I'm like I don't really actually know. But yeah, this December will be 17 years. Okay, congratulations.

Sheila Nonato: 10:22

Congratulations. Do you have anything? Um yeah, so Lisa, tell us about "arriage under construction. When did that? When did that start? How did you get on tv?

Lisa Canning: 10:36

I had a mom at my high school who recognized something in me very early. She was like you were going for life in front of the camera and at that time I did not know what that meant Like at that time. So we're talking high school. So for me that was the late the nineties, like 1997 onward. You didn't you were on TV if you were an actor or you were a news anchor, like it was not like today where you could become famous because you had a smartphone and you did funny things on your phone. So I was so confused by this whole concept of you can have a career in television.

Lisa Canning: 11:14

But she was the one who was such a champion and she connected me with a friend of hers who was launching the show called "Marriage Under Construction. It was one of the first reality based design shows ever Like. Like all the shows that exist now, this was one of those very, very first ones that was showing the behind the scenes, the real life of the couple, and they wanted a young, never before designer. Like they wanted to capture the epic failures that could happen on national television and that's exactly what we did. So it was my very first television show back in 2006. It launched an interior design career for me and it also launched a broadcast career. So I did many different projects both in front of the camera and behind the camera in production design, and then it, of course, launched broadcast. I went on to do all kinds of different lifestyle broadcast segments on stations all over Canada and the United States.

Sheila Nonato: 12:20

Amazing. And Lisa, you are known as The Possibility Mom and I have your book here. Can you tell us what was the first few years of marriage like with you on the show and how did this affect your marriage?

Lisa Canning: 12:44

Very big dreams in my heart, you know, and I and I credit my parents my parents were very willing to entertain any somewhat random interests I had, Like as a child. They supported me learning the violin, the piano, ballet, like all kinds of things just because I expressed interest, and I'm grateful every day, my parents, that they just were like, "ure, you want to try that? Okay, let's try it. You know, and so I think I always was I was certainly hardwired to explore just possibility in general, and so that did not change when I was approaching starting a family very young. So I was 23 when we got married. I had our first child, john, at 25, and all the while building a television career.

Lisa Canning: 13:34

Just in case you're not aware, television careers typically do not happen by accident or easily. Like there's quite a bit of an investment in both your ability to show up in front of a camera and do live TV. That's not necessarily an easy skill. You have to learn how to say things succinctly and pivot if needed, and so there was a lot of skill developed there. And then, of course, there's a lot of skill involved when you're having a bunch of small babies. We had all of our children, approximately all of our children. We have 10 children now and everyone has come approximately 18 to 24 months apart. So there was a lot of skill involved there and I just became a little bit determined to do it all and do it all well.

Lisa Canning: 14:18

And I also became determined to prove it all to everyone. I had people telling me that my career was my most important thing, that I had to invest in it at that time, that television careers were sort of like once in a lifetime and I had to put all my eggs in that basket, so to speak. And then I had all kinds of moms telling me that you are so young, you have the rest of your life to work, your children are only so young and you really need to be there for them. And so I just was like I'm going to prove it to everyone that you can do everything.

Lisa Canning: 14:47

And, spoiler alert that was very difficult, and so" The Possibility Mom and my you know my entire life now came from a place of great pain, to be honest, and great failure. We did very best. I think Josh was incredibly supportive of my dreams as well, but it was just incredibly difficult to do all the things on our own, and that was our. That was the big like implosion and big sort of reckoning that I had to deal with is that you know there comes a cost at some point and we did have to. As I share in the book, the Possibility Mom, we did have to really come to terms with that and decide what kind of life we wanted to live, as opposed to the life that lots of other people were telling me to live.

Sheila Nonato: 15:40

Wow, amazing, and can you talk a little bit more about you know, Josh, in terms of Wow, amazing, and can you talk a little bit more about?

Josh Canning: 16:02

You know, josh, in terms of Lisa, we kind of expected that. I guess in first year marriage I can think of times where our schedule would involve Lisa basically me going to work in the morning, lisa dropping our kids off at her parents at a certain point, me coming home to getting them around dinnertime and then maybe seeing Lisa later in the day. And there was just a lot of long days like that and it was not easy but it was kind of. I know my parents had had a similar experience working shifts and things like that where it was tough in the beginning. But there was a certain point when I realized that we were actually just kind of seeing the balance differently and Lisa, I believe, talks about it in her book, but we were kind of having dinner one day, having a date, and Lisa asked we were basically looking at what's really going well in life and what about the direction we're going, and I realized that Lisa was, she had a real great capacity for the type of lifestyle we had and I was being very exhausted by it.

Josh Canning: 17:08

You know like I was really hoping that it would get easier, that it would not continue at the rate it was going and it was kind of funny, but basically it was like I think the question, the prompt from a book we were reading, was like if your life was what, what kind of genre would it be? What would be the name of the movie? And I can't remember what Lisa said exactly, but she was just kind of like you know, she was able to handle kind of the kind of crazy schedule we were, we were undergoing at the time and my answer was like well, my, my life, the way I would describe it is it's like a thriller or a horror, and life, the way I would describe it is it's like a thriller or a horror. And it's like the title would be like vice grips, because I feel like my head's in a vice, you know, like it's just so much.

Josh Canning: 17:48

This is exhausting me, you know, and and that was one of those sort of inflection points or whatever moment where we, where we kind of realize we might need to really re-evaluate some of these things um, you know, obviously we're on the same team, we, we really value the same things, but it's not exactly working the way we would like it to work and we might have to reconstruct how life is going so that we actually both do feel good about it. And it's not that we want it to be like a cakewalk, but how do we feel it could be a bit more manageable so that we both feel like we're thriving?

Lisa Canning: 18:23

Yeah, and it's interesting. It's a lesson that we continue to learn. I would say that particular story was the very first time I realized that, "oh, wow, we're on completely different pages. I was completely fine living the way we were. I was tired, I knew that I couldn't really sustain that, but I meant that at least at that point I thought we were shared in. This is hard, but we can do it.

Lisa Canning: 18:52

And I remember being like, "wow, this is a stark reality to accept that you are not on the same page and it's okay if you're not on the same page and it's, it's like it's okay if you're not on the same page. But I remember asking myself how can you be so out of touch with what your spouse is feeling? And I remember that that did not feel good and it's a lesson that I think we still continue to learn. But we're much better at it now, like we're much better at having ongoing intimate conversations. I think we're much better at checking in with each other. How are you doing really?

Lisa Canning: 19:28

You know, I think that there are realities of having 10 kids that we have to communicate a lot around. How are we doing internally? How is our spiritual life? How's our physical life. You know, and it's interesting because certainly you know, when you spend all day with each other like we both work from home and so we see a lot of each other you can certainly observe these things, you know. You can observe if the other person is is like working out, for example, or you can observe if the other person is eating healthy, but there's you, you. You still also have to have those really intimate, meaningful conversations and make space for them. I think that's probably the biggest thing I learned in that season is that we have to just have space, like it doesn't matter how high capacity one is, there still needs to be that time of rest, that time of white space, and that continues to be a big priority for us today yeah, that's, that's awesome.

Joseph Nonatio: 20:30

Thank you for sharing that. So I just want to like, I'm obviously I'm a kind of a guy that loves to burn the candle both ends and then blow torch right up the middle, and it's like a high-paced sort of job and I think many families are are kind of uh, are stuck with doing that. Right, especially because we love doing things and especially, you know, you're an A-type personality. You want to want to go there and, uh, and get things done. Did you like both of you, did you come up with some sort of like? You know, some some families would have like a mission statement or or something like that, as a that, the, the vision that you are working towards that maybe I was wondering if you could share that. Maybe the listeners you can provide some advice to them as to, um, how to shape that for themselves. Right, because I'm sure we're not the only ones in the same boat, right.

Lisa Canning: 21:16

We've definitely. I'm remembering we've had many times over the last especially few years. Our family has gone through a lot of changes. We just did, not too long ago, an international move you know, in 2023, we lived in 10 homes in 10 months, so it's been interesting. We've definitely done formal exercises where we've sat down and we've used a tool to develop this kind of a mission statement. Certainly, we've articulated what our family values and our children know it, like Canning's value adventure, like we've articulated that as a family and they're phrases that our children can recite back almost.

Lisa Canning: 21:56

But what I would say to that? And those are very helpful, absolutely, those are very, very helpful and I think they inform when something is difficult, when something is difficult or something is not ideal, you can go back to these phrases cannings value adventure and it allows everybody to feel a little bit more grounded. It allows things, I think, to feel um, in line and you know, and not not not out of touch with how you live. You know, like, even if it is involuntary, it's like okay. Well, how can we view this from a different lens? If we're viewing this from the lens of we love adventure, then this is just another amazing page in our book right. But if I honestly, if I had to summarize it, if I had to just distill everything down to one sentence, it's that Cannings value, regulated central nervous systems. And let me just unpack that really quickly, like honestly, I have learned so much about the central nervous system and, for anybody who's not familiar with what that is, it is just simply one's ability, like every body, has a tolerance for stress, for really it's stress, like when some people fidget, for example. That's one way for the body to handle tension or excitement, anything when you see people kind of like play with their hair, like this, like it's, it's a, it's a way for the body to cope with maybe a little bit of excitement or tension.

Lisa Canning: 23:29

And so I think, honestly, at the heart of it is that I'm constantly looking for ways to help my entire family cope with whatever is happening and recognizing that we also all have very different systems. So I have some children and Josh who really need quiet, and so I'm always on the lookout for, ooh, it looks like that child needs some quiet. I'm going to invite them to take their book and maybe find a spot outside where it's a bit more quiet, or similarly, I might be like that child needs to like run and jump and like do crazy things that are safe. So I will then be like I think it's time for you to go outside and ride your bike. So I'm constantly on the lookout for what do the individuals in my family, what do they individually need to thrive? And then I would say, alongside that desire for a regulated central nervous system is a absolute abandonment to the will of God Like that's the other sentence I would say is like our family mission statement is that we trust God with everything. We trust God with materials. We trust God with where we will live.

Lisa Canning: 24:56

We've had a unique experience where we lived in a lot of homes in a very short, a relatively short amount of time. I think it's pretty unusual that a family lives in 10 places in 10 months and what that experience has shown not only me. It's been interesting unpacking that with our children. What that has really, I think, impressed upon us is our ability to trust the Lord. Our brains forget it, sometimes All the time, if I'm being honest, like my brain will often forget. Oh yeah, like you can trust the Lord he's given you a lot of evidence, but I have a lot of evidence. I can trust the Lord.

Lisa Canning: 25:34

I'll give you just one very short example One of my children. We were just like outside and I think I had my phone out and I was like I'm looking for our more permanent house, you know. And I was showing this child the different listings that I was sort of considering and whatever. And and this child just said to me you know, we've lived in a lot smaller, so it doesn't really matter what size like. And I found that just so like remarkable because I was all like like I need like a big house, that I need enough space, that I need this and I need that. And I was so panicked and my child, with just so much wisdom, was like meh, we've lived in smaller than that we will was margin.

Josh Canning: 26:17

We have to figure out a way to build more margin for the important things and that can look like actually saying no to a career opportunity. I remember Lisa works different seasons for television. One opportunity came up. It was going to be lucrative in a sense, but it was going to ask a lot of us as a family because of the length of the days and the intensity, and we said no because it wasn't the right. It would have just been such a stretch and I think the reward wasn't really there. We're both working full time and it's just.

Josh Canning: 27:04

You know, there's certain opportunities you might say no to, especially if you have certain values in terms of knowing what everybody needs. We really value the opportunity to go to daily mass when we can and build that into our life. You know, obviously, build, build rhythms of prayer to family life and, um, you know, if, if, if mom's away for 18 hours and it's, it's going to be really hard to live that out. So, um, yeah, um, whether we say margin space, um, we have to figure out what's really going to work with putting the kind of the big rocks in first and seeing how we can, you know, work around the rest right.

Joseph Nonatio: 27:45

Yeah, I love how that interior life there, the big rocks, as you say, that sort of like, are central to your family. So, thanks for that tip. I was sort of wondering the discipline that you sort of like, the order that you place within. And you talked about reframing things. I love that you know and saying, okay, well, you know the adventure in your family, is there sort of like a go-to reframing thing that I don't know situation comes up, et cetera, and you go, "kay, Romans 8, 28. We're going to do this.

Joseph Nonatio: 28:17

You know, ", this is, this is something that the Lord is giving to us. Or is there something that you default to in terms of teaching your children? Because obviously, you can see, you know, with the, as you, that story you said, with your, with your child, there is resilience, that it's built, and I think that's something that we have to teach our children, especially these days where everybody's all about their feelings and you have to listen to me and you have to pay attention to this and we all have to bend, because I feel this Well, there is an objective thing and the Lord is operating in our lives and it's not like he's abandoned us, right? So you've got this. You've got this at least down pat, right, so could you could sort of give us some advice on that?

Josh Canning: 28:52

Yeah, I have a thought. So I remember at one point last year I was really frustrated because I was seeking to have a sense of peace amidst a lot of kind of it felt like constant transition and it was difficult. And I remember speaking to my spiritual director being like I just keep praying for peace and I'm not getting peace. And my spiritual director said well, you know, josh, we don't get all of the gifts and fruits of the Spirit. You know, maybe you should stop focusing on getting peace. You should be actually be praying for gratitude. You know he's like the Lord keeps providing a roof over your head. Pray for gratitude. And that was a helpful, I think, shift in my mind. I'm not, I'm not one who's, um immune to worries and thinking too much about what's going to happen, you know, tomorrow and the next day and whatnot. But in refocusing on expressing gratitude for the way, the way the lord has blessed us, it helps me to live better in in today.

Josh Canning: 29:48

Um, there's a book I'm reading right now that is is really helpful and it's off to the side, so I'll show, show you. It's called uh, it's a booklet really, but it's called "rusting God in the "\resent. It's by Father Jacques Philippe Um, and it's really interesting because he talks about how getting stuck in the past or the future is is a trap, uh and uh. While it's important to look, uh and ask questions about, you know the situation we're in and maybe you know, did I do something that would have been maybe the wrong thing? That's how I ended up here, or you know. He said, like that's helpful to an extent, and same thing for the future, you know, as we naturally want to plan, but he says at a certain point we have to set this aside if it becomes a great distraction from living today.

Josh Canning: 30:29

"resent, and he said, the main thing, one of the questions we can ask ourselves, is are the answers to the questions I'm asking about the future? Do I absolutely need that answer in order to live God's plan and purpose for me today? Oftentimes, the answer is no. We don't need to know necessarily. You know where we're going to live or what we're going to do or whatnot. If God's provided for today, then we need to figure out how to live in the moment today, how to love in the moment, how to love God, how to love the people God's placed in our life and that allows us, I think, then to also just be grateful for what God has provided today. So yeah, that's a thought that comes to mind. As someone who's a worrier, it's helpful to reframe our focus on. You know, what's important now. What can we accomplish today and how is God providing for us today? And let tomorrow's worries as Jesus said, you know, tomorrow's worries are enough for themselves and let's leave that for tomorrow. What do you think?

Lisa Canning: 31:29

I'm just. I was just pulling up here on my phone. You know we pray night prayer as a family. What's in the Magnificat and Psalm 62, it happens every night and it's just "n God alone is my soul at rest. My help comes from him. He alone is my rock, my stronghold, my fortress. I stand firm. You know, even in my very small kids, who might wake up in the middle of the night and have a bad dream, in my older kids, you know, one of our children just auditioned for like a big play, you know, and she would have to do like a part, like a sing, in front of a whole bunch of people. Anyway, regardless of how big or small the challenge is, I would say that we're often and constantly coming back to. You can trust the Lord Like. He is with you. You are not alone. Whether it's a bad dream or stage fright like that, the Lord is always with you. He is your rock. You can stand firm.

Joseph Nonatio: 32:30

Yes, it's great to see how you're teaching your children and exemplifying that trust in the lord. Obviously, the the interior life and Saint Jose Maria (Escriva) always talks about this right like building that family life on the rocks of of the interior life. Can you you've already alluded to it a bit about you know the daily rhythm of your family? Could you sort of, like you know, maybe teach the rest of us of like how, how do you do it? You've got, uh, and, and the question that I have is like, number one, how do you do it? Like you know, maybe, teach the rest of us of like how, how do you do it? You've got? And the question that I have is like number one, how do you do it, like you know, in terms of your daily rhythm? And number two, how do you respect the freedom of? Like you have 10 children right and so, and each one of them I've heard of some families where the child says, "yeah, no, I don't feel like doing this.

Joseph Nonatio: 33:06

And how do you go about? Like in saying, well, how do you go about like in saying you know, this is the Canning brand, you know, this is how we, this is what we do, this is what we do as a family, like, how do you encourage that along and then obviously grow that so that we want to make you know leaders and saints for the future? And obviously the family, the domestic church, is the way we're doing that. But how do you go about doing that?

Josh Canning: 33:35

I think it's really important to you know, like with our faith, right? So much of it can be just in the interior and, I think, in family life, in the domestic church, I think we have to develop the habit of cracking it open and thinking out loud with our kids so they understand what our interior life, what's happening there. That includes, you know, talking about our relationship with God openly, talking about how we pray to God openly, asking them questions when we go to Mass, you know about something that struck them in the readings or in the homily, that type of thing, you know, and just inviting conversations about the faith. And I think about when we first came back to Canada after living in the States for three years, um, I was homeschooling, we were homeschooling our kids for the first time and our kids had been in a cadence where, um, they would celebrate Holy mass every day at school. And now we're in a new situation where we're homeschooling and, and how do we do this? And, um, I don't know that.

Josh Canning: 34:29

I don't know the exact answer for everybody, but for me there's certain things that we do collectively as a family what would be a rosary or night prayer, that type of thing and there's things that I'm invitational about, but perhaps not forcing the kids right. So if mass is a bit early in the day now and I'm going, I'm letting the kids know I'm going to mass tomorrow morning. If you want to set your alarm and go with me, it would be wonderful. And I just repeat that invitation, and sometimes one doesn't perhaps accept it for a while and others accept it every day. If they're not accepting it, I hope that we can build catechesis where we remind them about the immense gift it is to receive God, body, blood, soul and divinity in the Eucharist, and how if we could only do one thing in the day, like there's nothing greater that we could do. And so you know, as we try to, as Catholic Christians, live our own Eucharistic piety, we talk about what that means with our kids and continually be invitational to try to draw them in.

Lisa Canning: 35:36

There's a I'm going to call it a buzzword in the church today called intentional accompaniment or discipleship, just this concept of walking with people in their journey towards the Lord. Of course when you think of that you might be thinking oh, that's my neighbor who I want to bring closer to Jesus, that's my neighbor who doesn't go to church or who's a lapsed Catholic. But that is a hundred percent for our children as well. So there and it's, it's honestly just like relationship. So it's asking really good questions, it's leaving space for that response. It's maybe instead of rushing to the next activity, you ask a follow-up question, you take a few more minutes sitting in the car to continue unpacking that. So intentional accompaniment, discipleship, is very much happening with our children. I would say also, just on a very basic, very practical note, we do have some things that kind of go like clockwork. So, for example, when it's noon, everybody kind of is now accustomed to dropping what they're doing and praying the Angelus 6pm evening prayer, those kinds of things. So there's certain regular just cadences. It's interesting, at time of this recording all of our children are on summer break now. So now we have everybody at home and it's just been interesting to observe they can be in the middle of a board game, but then noon happens and they're like oh, it's time for the Angelus. For my older children I would say that it's become quite rhythmic. I do want to share something that I get asked a lot and on my Instagram, at Lisa Canning, I'll share often Mondays, a day in the life and there will often be a little sneak peek at what our evening prayer time looks like.

Lisa Canning: 37:22

I am not so fussed about little kids being little kids when we pray. You know, I think everyone has a story of like what it was like to pray as a kid. You know, I'm sure lots of people have all kinds of memories of what it was like. I certainly have some. I just sort of, if a little kid is being a little kid, so meaning they're being noisy, they're not really sitting, I, I don't. I personally, as a mom of 10, I we do our best like to redirect and to kind of try um similar our approach in mass. You know, we we sort of do our best to keep kids in the pew and whatnot, but I'm kind of also just like, especially when we're at home, I'm a little relaxed about little children's behavior in the way that we are at home and so just in case that brings anyone some comfort.

Lisa Canning: 38:19

I think there's more harm that happens, if I'm just being very frank. I think there's more harm that can happen when prayer is seen as this very like rigid, strict, you know you're kind of there's an absence in that. This is a relationship, that this is love and praise that we're giving, and so I just think that that can be something to just examine. And really we're talking so much about the interior life that all goes back to the interior. Like what is that relationship for you as the adult? Like what is that relationship? And you can examine that at age 20, at age 30, at age 40, at age 60. Like our relationships on our own are an evolution and so nobody is lost. You can be a catechized Catholic and realize in your adulthood that you actually don't have that personal relationship that you can have, and so I really just sort of encourage that. It can perhaps sound like a cop-out or something when you say, well, it has to start with you, but it's true, yeah.

Josh Canning: 39:31

It has to start with you and um. But the trap I think we might fall into is we might say, well, if I don't exemplify it perfectly, um, then uh, I have to, I have to build a facade or whatnot. I think it's good for our kids to see us still growing in our own faith and making goals and making new goals. I remember at a certain point one of our kids noticed that I was being more diligent with trying to go to daily mass and she observed it to me, you know, and she observed that it was a good thing. There's one part of me which could have been like well, I always go to daily, no, but no, you, she noticed a change. She noticed me kind of pursuing a goal and and that's a good thing.

Josh Canning: 40:14

And, um, we can re-affirm or re, I don't know, reframe, like we said earlier, but like recommit to certain things in our own spiritual life, openly in front of our children and invite them in that so they can see that I am still growing and I can still make goals. You know, I noticed that mom or dad is, I noticed now because I, they talked to me about their faith. I noticed that they're going to Confession, like really regularly and and that I'm invited to go with them If I want to go. Like that's a good thing, you know. So yeah, like I think they need to see us trying. But we need to recognize that of course, we're still a work in progress and that we're still being sanctified and we don't have to be perfect, but we have to be maybe perfectly striving. I don't know if that's still too hard of a high goal. We need to be seen working.

Lisa Canning: 41:08

My favorite thing, honestly, that my spiritual director gave to me a very long time ago and we were talking about type A personalities and loving to get things done.

Lisa Canning: 41:18

And so I remember being like Father Damien I just need the list, just give me the checkbox boxes for me to pursue holiness, I will check them off and I will do them. And he was so funny, he was just like Lisa, like even in your pursuit of holiness, you're trying to control it, like he was. He was so just matter of fact with me. But he did say I will give you one box. I will give you one box, and that is do you always want to run to confession? And I really think that is a very wise statement, because if you always want to run to confession, it intimates that you are always examining your life, that you are always in a state of humility, that you do have a set of standards that you are trying to follow and that you are measuring your life against. And so for anyone who is a type a, like I am, and wants a box to check, I think that's a valuable box because it it places you, I think, in that that a very healthy state of humility.

Josh Canning: 42:27

Yeah, just one last just to wrap that up. I remember reading something that St Josemaria addressed to families, and it was at a time where we were processing a challenge that we'd gone through, and I remember I think St Josemaria encouraged parents to always be modeling the way in which we go through struggle, like we should be modeling a joyful outlook and a sporting spirit, and I remember that I thought that was a high bar, but it was something I thought about daily, like we have to find a way to show our kids, even in tough times, that we are embracing this adventure with God's help, that we have this sort of sporting spirit, that, yeah, life's going to have its vicissitudes, it's going to be tough. Sometimes, there's going to be hurdles.

Lisa Canning: 43:12

Good word vicissitudes. Yeah, that's a good word, Good word.

Josh Canning: 43:16

But we have to have that sporting spirit right and that joyful outlook, or at least strive that. Those are the eyes of faith that we see things with.

Joseph Nonatio: 43:25

I love that perseverance. That's awesome. Yeah, St Josemaria, again like a saint, is a sinner who just doesn't stop trying, right, so that's pretty awesome. And that whole checkpoint there of like the confessions, that's a really great piece of advice there. I'll ask this last question and I'll hand it over to Sheila, because I know your time is a bit restricted here. But, uh, is there any kind of like um line in the sand or non-negotiables that you sort of say to your, your children no, you have freedom, but we have to do this because I have to do this. You know what I mean. Like, is there anything like that? You have one of those? Because sometimes you hear from families that their children sort of push back on that and and they don't know where to go with it, right, so yeah, that's a great, it's a really good question and maybe we've been spared that to this point.

Josh Canning: 44:14

You know, our oldest is only 15. So we haven't had to necessarily fight a battle of you know, in this house we always, you know, commit to at least Sunday mass and living in a state of grace and whatnot. We haven't had to have that um, that talk, and I guess it's.

Lisa Canning: 44:31

But but but don't don't misunderstand like with respecting everyone's privacy, we've, and we've have had to handle some big things so it's not like, because our it's not like we have. Sin has not escaped the canning house. Don't misunderstand.

Josh Canning: 44:49

No, but I think that I think that, gosh, yeah, I don't know why this is, but we haven't had the situation where it's like I will not, like we haven't had a situation where our child is like I will not embrace the Catholic faith or I will not embrace this aspect of the Catholic faith or whatnot, and I don't know why that is, because, of course, I think that probably happens, maybe in every family or often, but I think our kids generally believe that reality is taught through our faith and so, yes, we all fall, but we know exactly how to get back up and deal with things.

Josh Canning: 45:28

So, in the case that Lisa is alluding to, it's like when a child confesses, in an intimate moment, a sin, to me as a father, my first question is well, I mean, the first response is kind of compassion, and then I'm proud of you for bringing that to me. Have you brought that to confession yet? You know, and in this case the child had and it's like okay, like we all, I think the child knew that we are all accountable to the same thing, you know, and they believe that, um, this is how we deal with with sin, you know, and, um, maybe it's it takes, takes us a bit of a process for the child to come around and for their conscience to bring them to that place. But yeah, I guess our line in the sand is I want our kids to be in a state of grace and I want our kids to go to heaven to lay it down such that it's do this because I say because this is the truth, it's more like this is the truth.

Lisa Canning: 46:32

Let's all strive to live according to it as best we can day to day. I don't know, it's just making me think of. I think it's normal and natural that everyone has a faith that has been offered to them. So, by again, the wonderful gift of baptism and our upbringing faith was offered to me and then at some point it became a willing choice that I made At some point in my young adulthood. It became I am living this way because I want to. And certainly when you become married or you live away from your parents, you have to make those decisions, like are you going to go to Sunday mass, are you going to live your life in a state of grace, and so on. We all have that free will, and so it just makes me think that we, I think, as adults like assuming that most people listening to this podcast are adults right, we have encountered at some point, we made that choice, and if you're listening to this and you feel like you haven't, like I really want you to hear me. The Lord desires you to be in relationship with him. Yes, there are rules. Yes, there are guidelines. Yes, there are things that the church, in its wisdom, has set out and created for us to live holy lives living in a state of grace. If you don't know what that means, Google it. It simply is that you're going to confession. It's not simple, but there's certain things that are happening in your life. You're confessing your sins. If you don't know what we're talking about right now, this is what the Lord wants for you.

Lisa Canning: 48:07

It can look like sometimes that faith or religion is a set of rules. I have that conversation often with people like oh, I'm into faith but I'm not into religion, and I understand what they're saying, because I think if anybody looked at a set of rules and was like I just have to follow them blindly, I think it's normal that somebody would be like that doesn't sound attractive, right. But when you understand that a big function of the church is to help you get to heaven, and that getting to heaven means and necessitates that we believe in the premise that we are designed for ultimate relationship, like in an everlasting, beyond time, you know, like, and and this is you know, I'm 40 years old at time of this podcast and I would say that this is still something that I'm like, truly understanding, like this is still a truth that I am still learning. But when you put everything in life. When you put trial, when you put, you know, disappointment, when you put anything mental illness in marriage, like when you put literally anything you go through through this lens of that this life is temporary and that we are meant to live for eternity with a loving father. It can just make things very different and, again, I wouldn't call myself an expert at navigating these things.

Lisa Canning: 49:38

Well, but what I would say is I am an expert in eventually coming back to that truth. It sometimes takes me a while. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming and I'm annoyed and I'm constantly saying why, god, why, why are you doing this to me? But eventually, and I think it's just a result of a lot of things that have happened in our life where we've had to deal with trial and find a way to live. You know what I mean. It sounds so, so strange, I guess, but I just I've had to do that over and over and over again and and and I think, and that's just it, when, when you, when you really like I, have become an expert in coming back to that truth and it's it's just, it's true, like it's just, it's true, and it's just it's true.

Sheila Nonato: 50:29

Like it's just, it's true. So just to, I guess, see how beautiful your marriage is, built upon this rock of faith and resilience, and all the trials that you have been going through, especially recently with the 10 moves in 10 months With 10 children, I can only imagine I'm sort of leading into this. I guess would you call it an apostolate, a ministry.

Sheila Nonato: 50:59

Persevere Together." Can you tell us about that?

Josh Canning: 51:01

Yeah, so we haven't touched on it much in this conversation, but I have struggled with depression and anxiety clinically, first experienced it four years into our marriage and, you know, kind of in an ongoing way, since it was very difficult to talk about it first and very isolating. But eventually we got to the point where we started talking about it and started making video content so that basically try to reach out to the other person who might be feeling isolated by it, both the in marriage, the spouse who's experiencing mental illness, and then the spouse who's supporting the spouse experiencing mental illness. And so what we found was there was quite a need for that.

Josh Canning: 51:43

You know, a handful of videos ended up garnering like a quarter million views on YouTube, and so we saw the demand, we saw the kind of agonizing comments of marriages that were in a lot of trouble and some that had even already experienced separation, and it was very, very tragic to read about, and we realized that there needs to be sort of a message of hope for those in that situation. But also we don't want to shy away from the reality that our ultimate hope comes from our Lord Jesus and that really he's who got us through that situation for ourselves. So how can we speak about this in a completely transparent way that's both practical, you know, help you get different lifestyle kind of you know habits, or sometimes just a different outlook, but also truly, you know, doesn't shy away from any of the truth, like we talked about with our kids. We try to express. The truth of our faith is reality and it is reality for everybody. So for a couple that might be struggling with mental illness, we want them to know that Jesus is there and wants to minister to that need. And so, yeah, "ersecure Together is essentially a ministry for couples who are experiencing mental illness from a Catholic perspective.

Josh Canning: 53:06

So we don't shy away from that at all. So many of them will be Catholic couples that we speak to. Some may not be, but if they're open to hearing the Catholic perspective on what they're going through, that's what they're going to get.

Lisa Canning: 53:18

And a big emphasis on the practical. You know, when this became a reality in our marriage, there was a lot on the internet for, of course, the person with the illness, but I couldn't find that much, especially from a Catholic perspective, to support the person who might be supporting them, you know. And so there is a lot of practical, again, just from the very lived experience that we have been allowed to encounter. We offer a lot of practical advice for both, for both, both partners.

Sheila Nonato: 53:54

Beautiful, and where can we find your group?

Josh Canning: 53:59

Yeah, you can go to "ersevere together, localscom. Persevere together, localscom as well. As we have a new YouTube channel, brand new, and that's just youtubecom/perseveretogether

Joseph Nonatio: 54:26

It's been great to speak with you for the past hour. It's like a whole bunch of wisdom all smashed into one there. It's great to see like like-minded people as well, and thank you very much for the advice you've given, especially I was. You have the big family and, and uh, you guys are doing so well over there and uh, you obviously are the uh, the leaders for uh, for many people who you are inspiring and whatnot. So thank you very much and we'll keep you in our prayers. Please keep us in yours and uh, and thank you very much and we'll keep you in our prayers. Please keep us in yours, and thank you very much for the apostolates that you bring to the world, and please pray for the apostolates who are doing for us as well, for the world here too. Okay, Sheila, after you.

Sheila Nonato: 54:55

Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for giving us an example of how to raise leaders and saints. It can be lonely sometimes in a world that's, you know, when you're trying to live counter-cultural to what's happening in the world today, and we thank you for your witness, for giving us a glimpse into your family life and into your vocation and what gives you strength, what gives you joy, what helps you to persevere, and thank you for that. All right so how have we finished?

Joseph Nonatio: 55:27

Sorry, sorry, Go ahead no.

Josh Canning: 55:30

I'm just saying thank you for having us.

Joseph Nonatio: 55:33

All right, thanks, Josh. Let's finish with a Thanksgiving prayer. Okay, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen. We give you thanks, almighty God, for these and all thy benefits. You who live and reign world without end. Amen. May the Lord grant us His peace and life everlasting. Amen. All right, Holy Mary, Our Hope Seat of Wisdom, Pray for us. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you so so very much have a Blessed day.

Sheila Nonato: 55:58

Take care, hello to your family. Bye, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for joining us today. The story of Lisa and Josh Canning is a story of a family answering God's call for the adventure of seeking holiness in marriage and in a family of 12. We are blessed to have heard their story and the inspiration that they give to parents and to couples who are thinking about marriage and praying about having a large family. It is possible with God's help and our answer to God's call, to each of our own unique vocations in life. Veil and Armor wants to help mothers and fathers lead their children to become future leaders and saints, and we hope this episode inspires you. Lisa is known as the Possibility Mom and she helps mothers discover how families and dreams go together. We start dreaming for our future with our children, not in spite of them. To learn more about Lisa and a retreat that she has in Florida, please visit lisacanningca or at lisacanning on Instagram. Follow Josh on X at Catholic Josh C-A-T-H-O-L-I-C-J-O-S-H, and Lisa and Josh's ministry is perseveretogetherlocalscom.

Sheila Nonato: 57:12

Please join us next time for our back to school episode with Christian blogger and homemaker Tessa from Aimed at the Heart. She is a dairy farmer from Alberta, canada, and a homemaking expert who will give us tips on how to teach our children how to have a chore routine just in time for the start of the school year. An orderly home brings joy and Tessa will help us with that next time. Thank you and God bless. Lisa is planning a retreat for Catholic women in business on August 29 to August 31. Please see her website or contact Lisa for more details. A special note of thanks again to our families and for the lovely family, mary and Chris, for hosting us for the conference in Washington DC. And thank you, buzz and Chris, for hosting us for the conference in Washington DC. And thank you, buzzsprout, for giving us this opportunity to attend the conference and this gift that we can hopefully give back to our listeners in making an improved show. Thank you.

Co-Host: 57:59

Thank you for listening to the Veil and Armour podcast.

Co-Host: 58:02

I invite you to share this with another Catholic mom today. Please subscribe to our podcast and YouTube channel and please spread the word. Let's Be Brave, let's Be Bold and Be Blessed together.